


Day 3

by honeydeww12



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Just a little time, Processing, a bit of angst, needing a break, some self deprecating thoughts, taking time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24275266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeydeww12/pseuds/honeydeww12
Summary: He didn't want to think about the last two days.He'd be back. He promised. He just needed to get away for awhile.
Kudos: 16





	Day 3

**Author's Note:**

> I'm having trouble tagging this so if you have any ideas let me know. This is set two days after Steven's meltdown. It may not be clear within the story.  
> But, I wanted to share something about how when you have a breakdown or meltdown like that, sometimes you feel off. Sometimes the last thing you want is comfort. You need time to process what just happened you know? I hope I portrayed that in the story.
> 
> Enjoy

Day 3

Two days after he had…broken down..Steven had found it difficult to find himself time to be alone. He couldn’t blame anyone for that. They were rightfully worried about him. They hovered and were too gently. Too comforting. The morning after his corruption had been a bit of a blur. Every time he blinked he would find himself later in the day in different parts of his home. He was disoriented and hadn’t been aware of time passing by without him. He had felt numb. Still felt numb. And the thought of being around someone at the time had made him feel like he was suffocating. He wanted to get away and knew he couldn’t. It was..it was…

He had told his dad he was going for a walk. Lion was standing guard by his side. Hadn’t left it since he woken up on the cluster and he was grateful. Lion was the only one out of all of them that he felt…safe with. And he was ashamed at that.  
His dad had smiled softly and nodded, “Stay close please” he had murmured and followed Steven out the door. Steven could still feel his fathers worried gaze on his back as he made his way across the sand. 

He tried not to think of the last two days. It was impossible not to think about the last two days. 

Lion nudged his thigh to the left gently pushing him away from the sea and to turn around. Steven obliged blindly and continued walking back towards his home. He could see his father waiting for him still on the porch. He sighed and stopped in his tracks. Lion licked his hand and he patted his nose gently.  
“Would It be okay if we went away for a little while? Please?” 

Lion stared up at him. He stared back waiting. Lion huffed and nudged his legs until Steven began walking towards the lighthouse. He let out a long sigh feeling the tension ease from his chest. He just needed some time away. A moment to breath. He hoped his dad would understand.

Steven hadn’t been to the lighthouse in a while. He gripped the white fence and scratched at the chipped paint. He focused on his breathing and not on any of the memories that were flooding his brain. He scrunched his eyes tight in an attempt to force the sea away. It was making his head spin. Making him shake. He wanted to puke. 

He could feel Lions head rub up against his thigh and he slowly put his hand in his main, it glowing through. He didn’t know what he was reaching for, maybe a way to escape. He couldn’t just hide in there, but…He eventually pulled out his old iPod and earphones. With shaky fingers he shoved the wire in and clicked on a playlist that he barely remembered. Anything to make him not remember. A list of songs from his favorite anime’s and video games. Would he remember memories from that? 

The opening theme to Lonely Blade blasted in his ears and he didn’t bother lowering it down. He just needed to get away. 

He felt Lion’s head under his arm and he mindlessly ran his fingers through his mane as he listened to one opening and closing theme after another. He imagined the animations of the shows, on the action scenes and corny complicated plots and themes it would portray. It was simple. Listening to this, thinking of simpler times. Of times when he was better at coping with all the things he had to deal with. Why wasn’t he better at coping with all these things he had to deal with?

His eyes shot open with a gasp. Something had grazed his other hand. He tugged one earphone out of his ear and looked around. Everything faded away when he saw them. They floated in the air through the grey clouded sky. How cynical. 

He felt the need to let out a low laugh. Something to show to the universe that he appreciated the mocking but nothing came out. He squinted at the pink gemmed flowers. A thing he used to find so beautiful and hopeful. Something some people still found beautiful and hopeful. 

He sighed for the millionth time shutting his eyes again. He didn’t block out the ocean this time, instead allowing his breathing to time up with it. The music still played in one ear and he could feel it begin to strain from the loud volume. Lions mane was soft against his fingers. The wind whipped around him and he almost shivered. He could feel it getting stronger and small wet droplets were starting to fall on him. Not a lot, but it seemed like the clouds were becoming too heavy to hold in so much rain. 

He thought of Peridot. He thought of Lapis. He thought of everything after. How the events after their first encounter had skyrocketed him into this war he had no idea he was supposed to be a part of. 

He blinked his eyes open and watched as the sand was darkening from the drizzle. Down below his family was probably still waiting for him. Ready with open arms and hugs and all too much love that he didn’t think he wanted or needed. Or deserved.  
Not right now.

The last thing he wanted was that. 

A rain drop got in his eye and he blinked. He felt wetness on his cheek. He hadn’t realized he had been crying. He felt Lion nuzzle his hand and nudge his leg. “I’m sorry Lion,” he sniffled, still staring at the pink flowers now being tossed around in the rain, “I know it’s raining...I just… don’t know what to do right now.” Lion nudged his hand again before cuddling close to Steven’s hip. “I’m so tired.” 

They would stay there for a few minutes more until his dad would eventually arrive holding an umbrella over his head. The three would walk back to the beach house in silence and he would take a shower as soon as he got home. His sandals would be left at the door, too muddy for indoors, and he would change into comfier clothes. He would try so so desperately to participate in his families conversations, staying in the living room curled up with Lion. Nothing came from him though, and he couldn’t help the guilt that grew in his stomach every time a worried glance was thrown his way. They didn’t think he saw, but he did. He always did. He wanted to tell them that he wanted to talk. He wanted to tell them that he was fine. That he felt better. But the heaviness of everything was too hard to hold up and even then he’d be lying and Steven really didn’t want to lie right now. He had done enough of that already. 

Instead he stayed with Lion, who would sometimes lick his palms and cuddle his head and it would make him so happy. 

He would go to bed in his room, Lion curled right by his side and he would be so grateful that Lion was there instead of the others. He just needed a break from actual humans and gems for a bit. A tiny one. He’d be back, he promises. Just right now, he needed a little time. 

So, sorry to everyone. Sorry to dad, and Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst. Sorry to Connie and to all his friends who sent him messages worried about him, asking if he was okay. He was very sorry for not answering. For not being actually there. 

He’d be back soon. He just needed to get away for awhile. 

Just a little while.

Steven plugged his earphones back into the old iPod, pressed a random playlist and went to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
